5.10.2010

monday=gratitude list day

Monday's are challenging on a few levels:
1. simply on the basis of being monday. it is not the weekend anymore. the world, once i walk outside, is generally in the same monday mood. brace self...
2. Monday means school day. a scrambling, research, mom-aka-student-multitask-day.  finish school paper (most likely having procrastinated through the weekend).
3. again- school. late night. come home to a sleeping house, tuesday staring me in the face with a hefty "no rest for the weary" look on its face.
These 3 factors combine to create certain feelings...
~stressed about school- understanding my current class assignment is posing a problem to already noisy brain.
~wanting to clean and get organized while boys are at school; but knowing domestic tranquility goals will roll into the next few days. this fact furthering the frustration of my domestically challenged self. 
~missing the boys while they are at school; strange and perplexing sounding i know, but especially after being with them all weekend and the fact that they are such enjoyable humans to be around missing them is a regular mood visitor.
~a host of other random"uncomfortable in skin" feelings...
I'm far too impulsive to endure a full day's worth of Monday Moods.  Far too fidgety and bent towards chronic frustration... Far too much of a self-medicate-r to sit back and just feel without feeding the feeling with something.  
thus, Monday's are known as my Gratitude List Day. It consists of simply stopping in the middle of the mood and listing things i'm grateful for in that moment, no filter, just list.
I learned about making gratitude lists in treatment. Sounds ridiculously simplistic. I balked and poo-pooed the idea when my substance abuse counselor suggested the age-old remedy.  BUT....
mystery of mysteries- it worked, works every time. 
For the sake of sanity and the pursuit of peace, today's Gratitude List Day begins*:
-a roof over head
-Noah, Luke, Hans, Murphy
-trees that clean air, breathing
-green

-change
-prayers from my recovery book
-the boys' teachers at school
-a brain that thinks and remembers and learns, even after angry neurotransmitters won many biochemical battles in the past
-a body that is healthy today, even with ailments or mishaps, it is alive and kicking today
-friends who instill hope, laughter, peace, memories, fun, support, lessons, and miracles into daily life
-a back yard
-2nd chances (and 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc.)
-quotes and books
-imagination, thought, innovation
-good movies and fascinating stories
-nice people
-a full tank of gas
-coffee, coffee shops, wi-fi
-hearing from Marumi after 2 years accompanied by her graduation picture
*this list obviously can become quite lengthy, thus i will continue throughout the day at small slips of paper and doodle pads here and there when the mood requires it...

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